My Doctor told me earlier this week that I live too much in my head and if we could fix that I would get better. Granted he didn’t know how to accomplish this. I do agree with him, but isn’t that exactly what depression and anxiety cause…? Overthinking, overreacting…..
Isn’t that exactly how I was able to convince myself to take that first antidepressant? That I was overthinking and the thoughts spinning around in my head were hurting me. Destroying my sense of self, my self esteem.
He also decided that all the meds he has so readily put me on over the years (FYI – I am not a fan of drugs…I couldn’t swallow pills til I was a teenager, I never tried recreational drugs, not a hit of pot or a drag of a cigarette) are a big problem now. So he wants me to start tapering off, one at a time, as many of them as I can…but he offered no plan for how I was to deal with the original reasons he put me on these drugs. I’m all for getting off them. But what do I do about the underlying and still pretty much undiagnosed problems?
I wish I could feel positive about this. Confidant in an improvement coming in the future. Instead, all I feel is completely overwhelmed and terrified.
I have been experiencing a huge increase in my body pain and headaches/migraines for the last 10ish days. It felt like my whole body was covered a combination of the worst bruise and sunburn you’ve ever had at the same time. It went deeper that too. Nothing I was taking would help and by that 10th day all I could do was try not to cry and pray that the pain would end.
In a minor Miracle, my Mom suggested that it might be this new medication I had been trying. Unfortunately this was an anti inflammatory that was supposed to help me not need the stronger pain meds as much. But, I stopped taking it anyway and within 24 hours the severity of the pain decreased markedly. Almost back to what I consider “normal”.
Medications are always a double edged sword. It’s like playing roulette. You take your bet, cross your fingers and pray.