We are in a constant dance of benefit verses potential and realized side effects.
The main reason I’ve been so absent from my blog is because of this stupid dance.
As most of you are probably aware there is a major battle going on to reduce or even eliminate the use of opioid medications.
My Doctor chose an opiate to treat my pain very early on in my treatment. I am not big on taking pills (in a previous post I talked about how hard it was for me to even start taking my antidepressant when I was a teen), I’ve never been drunk, never tried pot or smoked cigarettes…yes, you heard that right…and it wasn’t just religion that kept me away…I just was never interested, it never appealed to me. However, I was in a lot of pain and I trust my doctor…
Fast forward to today and all opiates are the enemy. I’ve never abused my medication. I don’t feel “high” while on it. Yet, it’s now the enemy.
We all know it can never be that simple. The biggest problem side effects I’m experiencing are extreme fatigue (which I had to begin with) and depression (which I also have all on my own).
It’s to the point where I spend the majority of my time sleeping. My doc doesn’t really seem to care about the side effects since I have been able to cut back on my other pain meds.
I’m a blob without any life or desire to live one because of the side effects…but hey my doctor is counting it as progress!
One thing I want to mention…I want to be off the pain meds…if I could be on this new med without the side effects I would be thrilled! Hell, I want off all the medications I’m on. I hate it. But, I realize that for now, I need them to retain as much function as possible. I just wish quality of life was more important to the medical community than rules and statistics.
On a side note…I’m finding it really aggravating to type long posts on my phone. (Which is all I have been using so far). My laptop got a nasty virus awhile ago and I need to clear that sucker off so I can use it again.
So, to sum it up, I’m making the laptop a priority…but things may be sporadic until I can, hopefully, find a way to overcome these side effects so I’m able to have some kind of life.
Love and Spoons to all of you!