A Big Thank You!

I want to send out a huge thank you to each of you who pressed that “like” button! You have brought me to this landmark. 

It seems like I’ve only been writing this blog for such a short period of time…but with 500 likes and almost 100 followers!!!! I’m just so honored.

So here’s to all of you and to a day in the future when I’ll hopefully be able to make another of these posts. Each and every one of those likes warms my heart and gives me just a bit more hope. ❤️

~ Kahlan222


Welcome Fall

Let’s all take a moment to relish in the joys of fall…

Apple picking, corn mazes, pumpkins in every way imaginable, cool autumn breezes, cozy warm cider, the smell of cinnamon, pie baking, time with family and friends, trees painted in the most beautiful colors, and so much more.

What’s your favorite thing about fall? 

Share a favorite fall moment…


The Case of the Missing Blogger

I’m clearing off some of the cobwebs and trying to tidy up a bit. Especially for those of you who have been clicking that follow button even tho the tubleweeds are the only thing to see! 

To briefly update everyone…I’m still in the process of trying to find a balance with the medication Gabapentin that my doctor put me on almost two months ago. When I was on the highest dose, my brain was so gloopy I couldn’t form coherent thoughts, let alone an actual blog post! It also caused a massive increase in the frequency and severity of my migraines as well as making my depression worse! 

So…pretty much a failed test. I’m still on it, but have tapered back. Which has it’s own set of drawbacks. Things on the home front have been extra difficult as well.

Needless to say I looked at the WordPress icon on my phone many times…sometimes I cringed and others felt sadness. 

Dispite everything I still have a lot I want to do with this blog. But for now I have to focus on finding some kind of tenuous balance in my body. I’m still planning on posting as much as I can, which should be more regularly as time goes on.

I really want to personally thank each and every one of you who’ve been hanging on with me while I’m on this journey. I hope we can all continue to walk this path and support each other.

That’s all for now! 

Poem – The Window of Life

Have you ever seen your life flash before your eyes?

What did you see?

I sit and stare fixedly out a window, an ordinary, unremarkable window and I see people moving boxes. Carrying these boxes full of “stuff”, out onto the curb.

As stare at this sight, the view through the window changes…instead of just the unmarked brown boxes I see them taking out the things I cherished as a child, stuffed animals I cuddled with in bed at night, books I had read and loved, toys that had been played with on the floor of my room.

As stare out this window, now full of all my memories, the people carring boxes fade and I see directly back into my childhood. As if watching a movie of my past.

I stand looking…frozen and I feel a tear roll down my cheek. But, when I lick my lips I don’t taste the salty tear I had felt. My hands reach for my face and I can feel no wetness.

It was then I realized, looking out at my life, that I have forgotten how to cry. My tears left with all those “things” being taken out to the curb.

I stand and look, unable to move or tear my eyes away from the scenes before me.

Then a darkness falls across my view and as the image before me returns so do the people carrying their boxes, my boxes.

I’m finally able to turn away. Unable now to keep my eyes on the scene below. Now, with the window gone from view I think, “The past is the past”. But deep inside my heart the window to my memories remains open.

There, my tears fall freely. There, I have not forgotten how to cry.

But outside, in the world, the past is the past and the window is closed.

For now.

– Written by Kahlan222 (around 8th grade)

Sharing – Meet and Greet: 8/27/16 by DREAM BIG DREAM OFTEN

It’s the Meet and Greet weekend!!

*A note from Me: I thought I’d give this a try to see if we could all gain some exposure and spread the word about our blogs!

Ok so here are the rules:

Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.

Reblog this post. It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!

Edit your reblog post and add tags.

Feel free to leave your link multiple times! It is okay to update your link for more exposure every day if you want. It is up to you!

Share this post on social media. Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new blogs to follow.

Now that all the rules have been clearly explained get out there and Meet and Greet your tails off!

View Original Post Here

I Have No Idea aka I’ve Hit The Wall

So, what do you do when you’ve hit the wall…again?

It feels like a never ending cycle…hope, disappointment, frustration, giving up…repeat.

I’m at the giving up stage…I feel like I literally hit the wall. I’m getting threats from my doctor about my pain medication…that I have to cut back, whatever the cost. Yes, I have real pain…but apparently pain management isn’t a priority. In fact it’s to the point where quality of life doesn’t seem to be on the list either.

Between the increase in fatigue and depression and the debilitating migraines that just started back up I’m basically a ball of goo. If I’m not sleeping I’m trying not to move and to whatever I can to manage the migraines and if I’m not doing that I don’t really care enough to do anything else.

Oh and then there’s the weight gain…add the above together and you get a body with no ability to metabolize that’s also puffed up from medication side effects. My hair is so thin it could blow away in the wind. I’m really not vain and I’m not trying to sound prideful…but I was dam pretty. Tall, a decent weight, nice hair. I thought about being a model when I was younger.

Now, I hate my body. Every part…and I’m gaining weight with such speed that nothing I own fits. I buy bigger clothes and then even bigger ones. I’m not looking to be some stick thin picture of perfection…I never even wear makeup except for special occasions…but I miss being able to look in the mirror and be okay with what I saw.

I have no idea how to make my doctor happy and somehow find a way to be even a quarter of a person.

The way life is now is no life. I’m miserable and in pain in every way you can imagine. I know the increase in depression side effect is driving a lot of this but that doesn’t even make a difference because I am feeling it. I don’t want life is this is what it is.

This post of course contains topics I had meant for later posts…ah well…we’ll flow with the winds.

I’m Done.